Gratitude Challenge, Week 2: My Partner in Crimefeatured

52 Weeks of Gratitude: My Partner in Crime {the ponytail diaries}

Before I got married, I would go to friends’ weddings and during the reception, someone would inevitable ask one of them, “So, do you feel any different?”

And most of the time, because most of my friends moved in together well before getting married, they’d shrug and say, “Not really.”

I always thought that was a little disappointing. Like, you’re *married.* It should feel more significant, shouldn’t it? Your wedding day should feel like a turning point, a…portal from complete independence to having a partner for life.

And then I got married — over a year after my husband moved in with me, and we combined bank accounts, and started listing the other as our emergency contact — and after the wedding was over, I was like, “Okay, back to normal. No more wedding planning YAY!”

The wedding wasn’t a single, major turning point.

But I’ve learned, over the past year and four months, that it’s a subtle process of learning how to lean on each other. How to support each other and let yourself be supported. And, without getting too sappy, it’s been a weird, confusing, hilarious, wonderful journey — and we’re just a little over a year in.

I pride myself on being fiercely independent, but I don’t think I would have left my job last year without my husband cheering for me and insisting I could do it.

We wouldn’t have gotten Onyx if he hadn’t convinced me we could handle it.

I wouldn’t be in San Diego if he hadn’t decided to move here first.

There are literally thousands of times I wouldn’t have laughed if he hadn’t been there talking in weird voices or telling me about ice cream bread or imitating Sheldon Cooper.

I wouldn’t be dipping my toes into homebrewing or rock climbing or camping.

I sure as hell wouldn’t have become a country music fan.

My cooking skills would probably still be limited to boiling pasta and tossing it in sauce from a jar.

I wouldn’t have acquired any taste whatsoever for black coffee (still not my favorite drink, but I like trying freshly brewed coffee from decent quality beans).

It’s unlikely I ever would have watched any Batman movies.

From the mundane to the really freaking huge stuff, I can’t imagine a better partner, best friend, confidant, or cheerleader to face it with.

Love you, babe (even though he won’t read this).

wedding photos by the super-awesome Jaime of Aptera Studios

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  • Aww, I love this! And I 100% agree, having a partner you trust is a life changer. My husband and I have been married for 10 years (tomorrow!), and looking back it’s amazing how much it does change you in a million little ways. It sounds like you two are great for each other! Here’s to many, many more years together.
    Oh, and my hubs doesn’t read my blog, either. Men!

    • Thanks Miriam! And congrats on 10 years!!

  • how sweet! I feel like a lot of focus is put on the wedding itself, when really it’s the marriage that matters.

    • Thanks! I have to say, after the wedding, I had the biggest feeling of relief — like “thank God all the planning is done and now we can just be married.”

  • How sweet!! It’s so important to have a supportive partner. P and I are definitely a team, and he is so supportive…I feel amazingly lucky to have such a wonderful partner. P reads my blog though. He always says I just got an email from my favorite blogger 🙂 I actually had signed up for a homebrew class before I started dating P, but he has expanded by beer knowledge so much. We joke he expanded my beer tastes and I expanded his food tastes.

    • Haha, that’s awesome! That’s cool that he reads your blog, too. Somehow my husband got the idea when I first started that I didn’t *want* him reading it, for some reason, and even though I’ve assured him it’s fine, he says he likes to “let me do my thing.”