Passive-Aggressive Open Lettersfeatured

Passive-Aggressive Open Letters {the ponytail diaries}

Dear Facebook,
Stop showing me posts that are three days old. CHRONOLOGICAL NEWSFEED NOW PLZ.

Dear San Diego drivers,
Do you not understand the point of stop signs and red lights? Or crosswalks and pedestrian right-of-way?

Dear iPhone,
I know you’re barely holding on. Just a little longer, please?

Dear Mrs. Hughes on Downton Abbey,
You rock. Keep on keepin’ on.

Dear obnoxiously loud neighbor,
Try turning your TV off for, like, an hour. I promise you’ll survive without it.

Dear wedding photos,
Pick yourselves for our album.

Dear mouse that may or may not be in my apartment,
If you’re still here, GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.

Dear arch on my right foot,
Please don’t be seriously injured. You only ran 26.2 miles. Get over it. You’re fine!

Dear person holding the library’s only copy of The Desire Map hostage,
Be a decent person and return it. You’ve had that for two months now.

Dear Instagram,
You’re wonderful. Don’t ever turn into Facebook.

Dear Rob Lowe,
Surely you can’t need the DirecTV money that badly. The first commercial was kinda clever, but we get it now. Just stop.

Dear DVR,
You seriously can’t hold more than 20 shows at once? Why do we pay $20 for you every month?

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  • ha! all of these made me chuckle. The Rob Lowe commercials really are getting old.

    • Right?? The former marketer (ha!) in me just thinks there’s no way they’re getting good ROI on those…like, the production costs must be astronomical, and then to get airtime on literally every single commercial break on every major sporting event for months and months? There’s no way they’re making money back on new customers.

  • The Facebook one! Yes. That. I’ve pretty much given up on Facebook entirely. Instagram is the only social media I actually post stuff on.

    • I’m definitely moving towards that. Facebook is getting to be more for groups and staying in touch with just a few people (mostly relatives).

  • Yes, yes, yes to Facebook…I actually saw someone’s post from December 2013 the other day. It annoys me. I love Instagram too 🙂 Hope your foot is ok!

    • My foot is so much better! I’ve started using Facebook just to keep up with a few different groups I’m in. I scroll through the newsfeed for just a couple minutes at a time now.

  • Ahh! We may or may not have had a mouse in our house this last summer. I may or may not have just politely asked it to leave. I’m pretty sure it did. Also, Facebook bugs me so much and I want to quit it so bad, but it’s so hard!

    • Haha, I saw it again last night. I’ll have to try asking politely next time.

  • I just stumbled across your blog and loved this post. I can relate to the neighbor needing to turn off the tv and I second instragram never becoming anything like facebook.

    • Glad you found my blog, Angela! Hope you like what you see 🙂
      It’s a little scary that Facebook owns Instagram, but they haven’t screwed it up yet, so…