“I’m just calling to say I love you on a Monday night!”
That was how many, many phone calls between my best friend and I started freshman year of college. I was at Cal Poly, she was wayyyy up north in Chico. (Most of the time, we’d say Friday or Saturday or sometimes Thursday night, but this first call was from my friend who was just tickled at the fact that she was drinking on a Monday. Ah, freshmen.)
For a lot of reasons that I won’t go into now (painful childhood memories and other super fun stuff), I’ve never been a girl who always has a ton of friends. I’m really good at making convenient acquaintances — teammates, people in class, my dorm mates, co-workers, study abroad classmates — but once we leave that shared environment or situation, I’m not really great at holding onto or maintaining those relationships. Even with Facebook. Unfortunately (it may be a character flaw of mine, to be honest).
Which is why I’m so, so grateful for this one chick I’ve stayed in touch with since junior high or so. I was her maid of honor and she was mine two years later. (Fun fact: we both referenced the time I broke my ankle playing rugby in our speeches.)
Most of the time now, our “staying in touch” is limited to quick texts (quite often about our dogs), Facebook comments, and the occasional Gchat. But she’s one of those people I can just pick up with when we do actually get to talk or spend time together. I can randomly text her something about blue whales or Paris or comrades or taping a bag of Lucky Charms to a surfboard and know she’ll get it. She’s also stayed in touch with, like, half of our high school class so she keeps me updated on some of the ongoing gossip.
We’re not super emotional with each other or about our friendship, or share every single detail about our lives with each other. For awhile I thought this meant maybe we weren’t as close as other “best friends” I’d see. Eventually I realized…that’s just not our style. We don’t have to have “deep talks” or “emotional discussions” because I can say something in a flat tone and she gets I’m upset. She can turn something into a joke and I know it’s actually really bugging her.
I don’t know where else to go with this. Obviously, I don’t mention names or share photos of my “real life” friends and family here, so it’s getting awkward to write about something so specific and keep it general enough that I respect her privacy. There’s so much more I could say, but I’ll leave it here…and get in touch with her this weekend about planning a girls getaway this year. Because we have not had quality “one-on-one” time since…before we got married. Wow. (Literally, every time we’ve seen each other has been with our husbands or at bachelorette parties or bridal showers or family events…for the last 3+ years. Good Lord.)