I’d be sad about this being the last “Around the Horn” post with Kasey and Jessa, but it’s the last because Opening Day is upon us. We have survived the long, cold (for everywhere that wasn’t Southern California), brutal offseason and are about to be rewarded with crisp hits, sinking pitches, that satisfying thwock (technical term) of a ball hitting a glove, and lots of cold beer.
So, for this last post, we’re supposed to write about our favorite team and offer up some World Series predictions.
World Series predictions? Hmm…
We’ve already succumbed to odd year weirdness and, I have to say, the Giants have too many holes and too many questions (and certain other NL West teams seriously stepped up this year) for me to seriously predict they’ll make it four in six. That’s not to say I wouldn’t place a $10 bet on them in Vegas because hey, why not? I either lose $10 or potentially win…$160 (according to this).
And the thing is, one of my (many) favorite things about baseball is that it absolutely can’t be predicted.
Can I instead list the teams I wouldn’t mind watching win the World Series, if the Giants don’t make it there?
Because that would be the Rockies, Pirates, Royals, and Rangers. Oh, and the Cubs! I would gladly cheer like a maniac for them to break their curse(s).
Serious predictions? Hah, eff if I know.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Nationals and Cardinals in the playoffs again this year. Which is sort of okay, because even if I don’t like certain players on both teams, I’m cool with both managers (Matt Williams and Mike Matheny, respectively). (Last year, my brother and I both desperately wished Matt Williams had gotten a managing job with another team. Despite all his years with the Diamondbacks, it doesn’t feel right rooting against him.) Maybe the Marlins will do alright? (It’s so sad that there will only be a couple thousand people to sing “Take On Me” when Morse bats now.)
The Dodgers and Padres legit scare me now. I still don’t think Don Mattingly is ready to manage a major league team, but the Dodgers seem to have gotten rid of some of the most poisonous presences in their clubhouse, and they’re loaded with talent. And the Padres seem to be slugging it out — though we’ll see how that translates from spring training stadiums to Petco (notoriously pitcher-friendly, or at least NOT homer-friendly).
I don’t know anything about the AL teams. And sorry, I’m not going to read SB Nation for hours trying to figure them all out. I have limited resources here, people. And it’s a long season. I gotta filter some stuff out somehow.
Want some other predictions?
NL Cy Young: Oh, it’s gonna be Kershaw again. I hate that I can’t just hate him for being a Dodger.
AL MVP: I’m gonna laugh so hard if it’s Sandoval. I don’t think it will be. But if it is, I’ll just laugh and laugh.
Number of grand slams Madison Bumgarner will hit: 3 (one will be on a pinch hit, because Bochy will have a few drinks during a game go “why the hell not?”)
Number of times players will completely ignore the new countdown clocks designed to “speed up the game”: Literally every single one after the first two days of the season
Number of home runs the Giants will hit as a team: Like 15 or so. Which means Madison Bumgarner will hit 20% of the team’s home runs. CALLING IT.
Number of Anchor Steam and Lagunitas beers I’ll drink if the Giants do make it to the playoffs: Mmm, let’s not talk about that.
Bring it, baseball.