An Incomplete List of Things My Dog Dislikesfeatured

The slow cooker

The waffle iron

The quesadilla maker

The blender

The vacuum

“eff you and your attempts to cook and clean the apartment”

People who come within 20 feet of our property without getting her authorization first (so pretty much everyone but me)

Most German Shepherds for some reason

When people can see her

Having to walk to and get in the car (she’s fine once we’re driving though)

Getting left at home when we go on trips

When service professionals (mainly plumbers and dishwasher techs) come into the apartment and she has to stay outside while they work

“i did NOT give you permission to do that”

Public patios at cafes and coffee shops

When anyone besides me or my husband try to pet her

When our neighbor clips his rosebushes

When our upstairs neighbors are on their patios

Getting her picture taken

“staaaahhhhp it”

When I make her stop eating grass and weeds

When other family members misinterpret her willingness to take food from them as a willingness to be petted

Literally anyone who tries to get close to me (besides my husband, and even then, sometimes she’s iffy about that)

Baths

When I try to pick up her front legs to make her dance

Having to sit and lay down to get treats (she thinks it’s beneath her)

Walking in the rain

Her raincoat

“literally in hell rn”

When I put her in a Minion costume for Halloween two years ago

Squirrels

she looks happy here, but that’s because the squirrel had gotten into our tree and she was giddy with anticipation